A short story of embarrassment

So there I was with my friend’s girlfriend let’s call her “Kay”, walking back to my friends apartment to meet up with him. When it hit me. Lunch that is. Lunch hit me. hit me hard. I had to go BAD! At first i didn’t lead on that I needed to use the facilities.  I thought to myself that I can make back, no problem. Only it was about to become a problem first for me then for her, mostly for me. Let me tell you I was not close to home not by a long shot I was in the Public Gardens and I lived on Mass Ave. near Columbus Ave. but at this point it might as well be two blocks. I stop in my tracks right across the street from the Ritz Carlton. Saved. Not exactly.
I run across the street with a feeling of relief. It’s like one of those slow motion movie scenes where the boy and the girl lock eyes and then with arms open run too each other. Only on the other side was not a beautiful girl in pig-tails put the porcelain lover that will bring me sweet relief. As I get closer I see ply wood. I look left more ply wood. Right, ply wood. The hotel is under renovations. Renovations. RENOVATIONS! I look for a way in put there is none. Kay looks at my frantic movements at first with confusion. Then she looks at the look of horror in my eyes and knows this can’t be good.
“What’s wrong?”, she asks.
“I have to you know...go.”, I respond as fear and anxiety take over my every muscle.
As the word Oh, slowing comes off her lips the realization of what go means comes across her face as if she had seen death it self standing behind me. I wish it was death to take me out of my misery. For what was about to happen next for forever change our relationship.
As we frantically look for an open bathroom the inevitable happens. Kay waving her hands as if she where guiding a 747 to it’s final approach, looks at me wide eyed with fear. As I shake my head and whisper, “to late”. My last words, “to late”. All I wanted to do is turn around a run home, pants full of shame. She pats me on the back and tells me it’ll be alright, making sure she is not down wind. She calls her boyfriend and discreetly lets him know the situation. I can hear him laughing through the phone. Kay hangs up and tells me that I can shower and change at his place. I say thanks, sounding defeated and humiliated.
“Now you just have to get some new clothes.”, she says. As it where that easy.
So there I was standing in line at the Gap smelling of excrement  buying a new pair of everything. The lady in front of me lets me cut in line. So to get me out of the store quicker.
And that my friends is the story of the most embarrassing moment in my life. But you ever notice that it’s never just one moment, but more like a sequence of moments perpetuated by one ENORMOUS moment.

You may have missed. . .

This will be an ongoing article that will cover, well, anything from movies to tv shows to music to books – just about anything that I feel maybe you missed and should take a chance on. Some things I cover may not be easily accessible; but with the power of the Internet, I’m sure it can be found.

Luke and Brie on a First Date

Luke and Brie on a First Date is the epitome of an independent movie - shot on what looks like hand held digital cameras. The title alone is totally something you would see in a film festival lineup. Speaking of the title. . . it says it all. That’s what the movie is… Luke and Brie on a first date. But like any good movie, it’s not just the plot that makes it, it’s the journey within the plot.

The movie is simple: Luke gets set up with Brie. They meet outside a bar and from there we follow them through the night as they get to know each other. What makes this movie special is the performances by the two leads. Their chemistry is just right. They just jell. The dialogue feels real, like what two people would talk about on a date. In the beginning of the movie there is this air of awkwardness like a real blind date. The film is just enjoyable. By the end, you hope that this date leads to another.