A short story of embarrassment

So there I was with my friend’s girlfriend let’s call her “Kay”, walking back to my friends apartment to meet up with him. When it hit me. Lunch that is. Lunch hit me. hit me hard. I had to go BAD! At first i didn’t lead on that I needed to use the facilities.  I thought to myself that I can make back, no problem. Only it was about to become a problem first for me then for her, mostly for me. Let me tell you I was not close to home not by a long shot I was in the Public Gardens and I lived on Mass Ave. near Columbus Ave. but at this point it might as well be two blocks. I stop in my tracks right across the street from the Ritz Carlton. Saved. Not exactly.
I run across the street with a feeling of relief. It’s like one of those slow motion movie scenes where the boy and the girl lock eyes and then with arms open run too each other. Only on the other side was not a beautiful girl in pig-tails put the porcelain lover that will bring me sweet relief. As I get closer I see ply wood. I look left more ply wood. Right, ply wood. The hotel is under renovations. Renovations. RENOVATIONS! I look for a way in put there is none. Kay looks at my frantic movements at first with confusion. Then she looks at the look of horror in my eyes and knows this can’t be good.
“What’s wrong?”, she asks.
“I have to you know...go.”, I respond as fear and anxiety take over my every muscle.
As the word Oh, slowing comes off her lips the realization of what go means comes across her face as if she had seen death it self standing behind me. I wish it was death to take me out of my misery. For what was about to happen next for forever change our relationship.
As we frantically look for an open bathroom the inevitable happens. Kay waving her hands as if she where guiding a 747 to it’s final approach, looks at me wide eyed with fear. As I shake my head and whisper, “to late”. My last words, “to late”. All I wanted to do is turn around a run home, pants full of shame. She pats me on the back and tells me it’ll be alright, making sure she is not down wind. She calls her boyfriend and discreetly lets him know the situation. I can hear him laughing through the phone. Kay hangs up and tells me that I can shower and change at his place. I say thanks, sounding defeated and humiliated.
“Now you just have to get some new clothes.”, she says. As it where that easy.
So there I was standing in line at the Gap smelling of excrement  buying a new pair of everything. The lady in front of me lets me cut in line. So to get me out of the store quicker.
And that my friends is the story of the most embarrassing moment in my life. But you ever notice that it’s never just one moment, but more like a sequence of moments perpetuated by one ENORMOUS moment.